Words

"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." (James 3: 5, 6)

"... a gentle tongue can break a bone" (Proverbs 25: 15b)



"Eloquent" is a complimentary word I get from people a lot.
I am fearfully honored, also very grateful for the affirmation carried by that word.
I am so honored by the trust places on me, as well as the opened ears and opened hearts.

Choosing the right words, at the right timing, delivered in the right way, with the right facial expression does not come naturally. It takes practice, and prayers, LOTS of them!
I am a soft-spoken person in nature, but that doesn't give me the ability to wire and construct my words correctly naturally.

Years ago, I used to struggle with two things: one, to correctly present my thoughts with proper wording and sequence so they don't end up being misunderstood and then lead to destruction; two, to speak what is in my mind boldly without sounding inconsiderate or prideful.
I use the word "struggle" because I really did.
I asked God, "why did you make me like to talk but don't know how to do it well?", shouted with pain caused by yet another unpleasant experience of "not talking right"; "I might as well just stop talking!", I thought to myself.

Professionally, I usually have had no problem delivering speeches, giving presentations, or expressing knowledge; however, in my personal life, I was not satisfied with outcomes of conversations between me and friends, especially when they poured their heart out to me, seeking for advise.

"I'll just be a listener", I decided passively.
But too many times the Holy Spirit within me urged me to say something about issues being brought up to me, and when I didn't, it caused more pain.
I got frustrated, asking God, "what exactly it is that You want?"

Then I became very close with a wise and godly lady, from whom I learned to "put the bit in my mouth"(James 3:3). It is not about building up an elaborated collection of vocabularies, it is about emptying out the inventory and allow His love and His words to come out of me.

To make a VERY long story short.
It took quite a while to learn and exercise that capability. I am very thankful for His work done in me.

"When you looked at me with your smile, I just can't hide anything or resist telling you everything", a friend recently said to me, "you are so kind yet truthful, there's something in your eyes that just feels like they can see through me."
I praise God when I heard her comment. It's what I have prayed for all these years-- to be a instrument with my words.
"Speaking the truth in love" is my principle.
As much as people really like to come to me and open up to me, I usually make sure people really want to hear what I have to say, and then construct the conversation/speak my mind with a prayerful heart.
I am always willing to listen, but I don't always have to talk.

"Empathy, that's what it is you have." my friend continued to tell me.
I have to say, the capacity of being empathetic is a gift that I often often praise and thank God for. I use it daily and it has brought me so many dear and lasting friendships.
However, it doesn't come "effortless". The capacity of empathy is given and expended via many tears and bruises along the way. How can one be in other's shoe when one doesn't even know how a shoe looks like?

"You are a great and wise friend!" she concluded.
I replied immediately, " 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom', I pray for wisdom and discernment in my words as I speak with people. I hold on to His promise: 'If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him' and ask, ask, ask, with humility."
I am imperfect, but my Lord makes up for the great portion of difference so I can be a fitting instrument.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised". (Proverbs 31:30)


Thank you, God, for placing a fearful heart for You in me so I may seek You and fix my eyes on You as I run after You each day.