Enticed to Lust?

(This is NOT pointing finger at any certain person, it's just how I feel; this is also based on a Christian perspective.)

Now, where do I begin...

It was a very very nice day today, feeling like early-spring, nice sunshine and comfortable breeze. Mid-fifty, I'd say.



Yee-tsuey, Soa, and I went to lunch after Church.
As I was carefully walking (, watching out as I cross the "rivers" made by melted snow, so I don't splash water all over myself) to Ninth Street, I couldn't help but noticing all the spring clothing being pulled out of the closets.
This may sound a little bit weird coming from a female, but, I just have to say... "are those low necklines really necessary?" I mean, I was wearing a scarf!

It has been an issue in my heart for a while. It troubles me, especially in a Church setting, seeing ladies with clothing showing too much skin.
I don't think I generally am a very close-minded person, and I FULLY understand how women really want to be admired, feeling attractive, and feeling pretty.

But, is the kind of attention received really the kind desired?

"Lust".
Yes, I use the word "lust". It may seem a bit heavy, but it's the truth.
I was told that that is really what goes on in a guy's mind when they see body parts overly exposed to him. I am not I guy so I had to be told.
"WHAT? lust? are you just exaggerating?" I was shocked, too, when I heard it.
But my dear friend went on and explained how "insensitive" he thinks women can be when they don't "cover themselves up enough".
"You don't want to know what goes on in our minds when we see women who feed us things we do not need to see!", he said, "and, no, when it comes to that, we really don't mind "too much". It's sad, I know, but that it the truth."
I simply was speechless. 

God designed men and women very differently, so it's not as easy for us women to understand the battle that goes on in guys' minds when they have to TRY TO turn their heads away (and many of them really don't.) Just like they probably would never understand why we always need to loose another few pounds or take that extra hour to get ready.

I battled and wrestled with low self-esteem with the way I look, too, just like many many ladies.
I used to look into the mirror and not happy with what I saw, wondered why God put my face together the way He did, and wanted to look different.
"Are you not happy with what God has given you? are you saying His plans are not the best?" a dear sister reminded me boldly and woke me up from being discontent.
God made me the way He thinks works the best for me. 
I am beautiful in His eyes. It is not for the way my eyes look or the way my nose looks, but "it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit".


The World has influenced us to look at ourselves in ways NOT of God.


My dear sisters in Christ, I know it's hard, it is very hard.
Especially when clothing manufactures are making the necklines lower and lower, and the shirts shorter and shorter. (Oh, and, what's with the ultra-low waist?)
When men just seem to be attracted to "that" kind of appearance. When that shirt looks so good on the magazine cover model or your friend.
It almost feels like you're threatened or put-down if you don't dress like other women who dress "enticing".
But know that God doesn't take pleasure in the worldly way of expressing beauty; please do believe that there are godly men out there who looks not only the outward appearance but values more of your inner self, and those are the kind of men you'd want attention from.
Pursue to becoming a godly woman is far more important than becoming more beautiful (which, there really is little one can do... naturally...).
I am not saying that one shouldn't look nice, that is NOT what I think. I think it's wonderful to look presentable and proper with class and grace.

I still remember one weekend afternoon visit vividly.
It was about seven years ago, a good Christian friend of mine, who is a father of five, came to me along with a female minister (because his wife had to stay home with the kids) and a full-body sized mirror.
"Charis", he searched for the best way to word himself, "my wife and I felt like we should tell you this. God has blessed you physically, but please mind the way you dress. Please wiggle, jump up and down, bend forward and backward in front of the mirror before you leave your house." As awkward as it sounded, he, with a fatherly love, spoke the truth.
I had no idea that when I moved around, some fabrics just don't stay put the way they should.
"It is unfair for brothers" he stated his point implicitly.
I still have that mirror.
It has moved around with me. Now that I have learned to dress what fits me (well, seven years ago, I just got out of wearing uniform everyday for school, so didn't really have much sense about what fits me and what not!) and find styles that suits me, I've had to do the "wiggling, jumping, and bending" check less. But as I walk by that mirror, I was reminded not only of the importance of dressing "properly" and the love that a family had for me in Christ, but also to be considerate and sensitive to men in their weakness.

I'll probably never understand the battle that a man has to go through, or would I ever comprehend the things and ideas that race through their minds when they see an "enticingly dressed" women and how that could happen.

But, for some things, I'll just have to take it as it is and believe it.