Being Charis

I've been praying for patience and grace lately. I've been asking Jesus to show me what it is like for my  "attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 2:5) I've been learning to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (Jame 1:19b) and to love even more sincerely (Romans 12:9a).


As I wrestle with my own heart, I am so grateful for friends who would externally process with me (super helpful for external processors like myself...), as well as ways that the Lord has brought affirmation and encouragement through people.


Last week, I've had some difficulties processing and communicating with an ACFer whom I love and care about deeply (well, that's kind of like all of them...) I struggled with being able to empathize with her so leading to thinner patience on my end.
There had been numerous times when I prayed: "Jesus, please help me , please realign my thoughts and fill me with your grace and kindness, I need them!"

The Lord reminded me of His patience and His grace for me, and actually "re-"taught me to "speak the truth in love."(Ephesians 4:15) and the true meaning of "love".

I am a very conflict-avoiding person by nature. The desire of avoiding conflicts are often caused by fear, but on the other hand, I also value truth and just greatly, so while I dislike it, I can be passive-aggressive at times.


As I prayed into how it is like to love well and love deeply, I was very encouraged by these words in the Scripture:

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling" (1 Peter 4:8)

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. " (1 John 4:7-19)

I was so convicted and humbled, especially when I read the section in red.
Why am I so afraid? What was I afraid of? That this ACFer would hate me? But the words I want to say are true and are with loving intentions!
I realized that I was afraid of the "punishment": awkwardness, any negative response, lack of confidence in my words and thoughts, etc.


It all boils down to trust.
Trusting that Jesus is BIG ENOUGH, trusting that Jesus is the Lord of my heart as well as whoever I talk to (in this case, the ACFer), trusting that even when things don't go my way, Jesus is still in control.


I met with the ACFer yesterday.
Prior to the meeting, I prayed and prayed and prayed, for more grace in my heart and wisdom to deliver words.
I wanted to be truthful, I wanted to be loving, I wanted to be like Jesus.
I was able to be very frank about my own feelings and thoughts, while still being loving and caring. 
We left the meeting still a little rough and uneasy, but we hugged and thanked each other.


I saw the ACFer again today in a different setting.
After the event, I hugged her, she hugged back and said "thank you so much for being so patient and gracious with me. My heart is in a very different place than where it was yesterday."


I almost cried.


Those were the most encouraging words I've heard in a while!!!

"Charis" is Greek

According to Strong's Concordance...

charis: grace, kindness
Original Word: χάρις, ιτος, ἡ
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Transliteration: charis
Phonetic Spelling: (khar'-ece)
Short Definition: grace, favor, kindness
Definition: (a) grace, as a gift or blessing brought to man by Jesus Christ, (b) favor, (c) gratitude, thanks, (d) a favor, kindness.

Cognate:
5485 xáris (another feminine noun from xar-, "favor, disposed to, inclined, favorable towards, leaning towards to share benefit") – properly, grace. 5485 (xáris) is preeminently used of the Lord's favor – freely extended to give Himself away to people (because He is "always leaning toward them"). 5485 /xáris ("grace") answers directly to the Hebrew (OT) term 2580 /Kaná ("grace, extension-toward"). Both refer to God freely extending Himself (His favor, grace), reaching (inclining) to people because He is disposed to bless (be near) them.


When parents name their children, the names have so many blessings and hope attached. I am starting to fully appreciate my parents' loving intentions in that regard.