A story shared in this book brought me to tears and echoed in my head unceasingly.
It's a story about grace graciously given in the messiest of circumstances, I call it "Vincent’s Story".
Vincent has met and fallen in love with a young girl named Marilyn.
Neither one of them is seeking a relationship, but a relationship is seeking them.
Swept up by their emotions, the two become deeply involved.
Marilyn, a prostitute, is not prepared to fall in love and is certainly not prepared for the honesty love requires. She must tell Vincent who she it, knowing full well that here painful disclosure will probably mean the end of their relationship.
“Vincent?”
“Mmmmm.”
“There’s ah .....There’s something we need to talk about.”
“Only if you want to. I’m happy just to sit here and look at you. Sorry, this looks like something serious.”
Looks a lot like the intro to the Dear John speech, truth be told.
“Its about me and what I do.”
“Yeah, wondered when you were going to pluck up the courage to talk about it. Don’t tell me, you work for the CIA, right? Sorry. sorry, I’ll shut up.”
She is totally absorbed in the remains of her salad, scrutinizing it for something.
Anything to avoid his eyes.
“There’s no easy way of saying this.I’m a prostitute.”
“I sleep with men for my living. It’s a business. I’m very professional.”
Time and silence have this thing they do together. They make a chasm that has no bottom to it. And there you are, standing right on the edge of it. Aware that at any moment you may be falling and falling , with no hope of recovery. At the moment they are at either side of it, each consumed by their private terror.
She looks up at last from her salad.
Vincent is crying.
The tears are streaming down his cheeks, and he is biting his lip to stop himself sobbing.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to deceive you. I’m sorry, Vincent. I’m sorry.”
He can’t speak. He wants to, but nothing is working.
He is looking at her, at her beautiful face, at her eyes, at the slight hardness around her mouth. And weeping and weeping. She reaches a hand across to hold his. She is beyond tears, empty and bleak and barren.
Vincent is mumbling something but is incoherent through the pain. And then he begins to repeat it again and again.
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.....”
This is the worst thing she has ever heard in her life. She wants to scream, to break something, to top over the table in rage. Instead some continental shelf rips loose within her. She begins gulping and moaning, a terrible agonizing cry from another place. And the tears are flowing.
They grip each other's hands, and lean their foreheads together. The tears are flowing into the abyss, and there is no end to them.
Marilyn expected Vincent to reject her, to pull away form her, to have nothing to do with her.
In a strange and touching way, Vincent did what Jesus would do; he looked beneath her behavior, saw her longings, and all he could do was weep. She expected criticism; what she received was
understanding.
Instead of hearing words of condemnation, Marilyn heard over and over again, "I love you."
(originally from a book by New Zealand author Mike Riddell)
In a recent Skype conversation, a dear friend of mine shared her concerns with me, concerns about "past baggages" and how are they to be communicated between her and her boyfriend (yes, I have her permission to openly discuss this in my little blog with few readers anyway :) ; no, my friend is not in the same career field as Marilyn).
"Charis, the time has come, I think both he and I want to talk about our past relationships."
"But I am scared, and I know so is he."
Right at that instance, I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her that we all need forgiveness and understanding, in one way or the other.
They are not alone.
All friendships need to be open, honest, and accountable. There is nothing wrong with what they have decided to tell each other -- I actually think it's a must for a romantic relationship.
I said to my dear friend, "speaking the truth in love is my personal principle and I think is the best policy in the given situation."
"When there is enough confidence and faith between the two of you, the truth can be spoken in love and would be heard with grace."
"Speaking the truth in love is a scriptural mandate for all followers of Christ. So just speak the truth and trust God to give both you and him all the grace that is needed to receive and respond. God is your common ground, His love is with you and in you, there is no fear in love."
In the midst of uncertainties such as the confusing situation of my dear friend, the certain and unconditional love and grace of Christ stand out and shine vibrantly.
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