To Live Is Christ

It was then when I fully believe "life flashing back in front of my eyes" could actually happen.
I was traveling back from St. Louis to Columbia, it was during rush hour, the traffic was backed up and I came to stop.
I saw a bright light from my rearview mirror, and the next thing I knew, I was flying toward the opposite bound.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

I had that "Paul moment" as I watched cars coming at me at very high speed.

I literally saw my life flashing back in front of my eyes, and then I came to a stop.

I don't know how much time had gone by before I heard "are you alright? can you open the door?"
I tried, and I couldn't.

I finally got out, got checked out by people in a ambulance, collected my stuff, got transported to a nearby place in a police car (to meet up with Esther and Will), got picked up by Esther and Will, ate, and then... went to the ER.

"You're very lucky that you walked out of there, you really are. Your car saved your life" said the policeman.

"God saved and preserved my life." I knew in my heart.



It's been almost two weeks since the accident.



I have actually been under high dose of pain medication and other medication to keep me up and "going." (more like, just awake and living...)

The pain has remained constant these past few days and I am starting to get random cramps throughout my body... I am not sure why. The pain has prevented me from getting much sleep at night.
I think my body might have developed some kind of resistance to the pain medicine, or maybe this type of pain medication just doesn't work well for me.


I am in pain constantly.


Of course, there's always something to learn in everything, God is always at work in all kinds of very creative ways.

I am learning to fully comprehend and physically experience the words of David: "my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:26)
With my body being achy, in pain, and I'm rather deprived in sleep (I've only been able to sleep for five hours in the past four days...), it's getting harder and harder to keep my eyes very focused on Jesus and resist voices that are trying to creep into my head, it has also become more and more difficult to stay alerted, intentional, and focused with things in my life and not allow unhelpful thoughts to come into my mind and bring me down/wear me out (further?).

Thankfully, while I am battling hard these past few days, I know very clearly and believe that the victory of Christ reigns in me, I just need to stand steadfast and cling tightly on to Him! :)


"He has made everything beautiful in its time."  Ecclesiastes 3:11a


Oh yeah, and, belated merry Christmas and happy New Year!